Saturday, May 30, 2009


That hillbilly-clash with PUTRESCENCE I did with Soiled Depends and Grimmgore, 2 unshaved and completely rotten chawbacons. I´m not responsible for some disgusting comments they did. I´m a poor boy and totally innocent! So kill your dog, rape your mother and enjoy canadian sickness!

How are you man, it seems you found a way out of the park near Pine
Falls. There were rumours you are dead.

Soiled Depends: Thanks for asking. We are all much better now. Nothing more shameful than trying to spend a weekend camping in the bush trying to party it up only to unexpectedly encounter the un-formidable Furley Roper, a strange and ultra violent hybrid combination of both landlords from Three's Company. No one has ever called me a "Twinkle toes" with as much venom as he did whilst administering a powerful and compelling thrashing. I’ve been trying not to mope around the house ever since we got back.

Seriously, who had the idea to that story to promote "Sledgehammer Holocaust"; tell my readers about it! What is the idea behind it?

Soiled Depends: The tune was composed early on once we had started writing the new record and the theme stuck with all of us. The sad and degenerate tale of sitting in the shit-house trying to dropping a deuce only to have a masked maniac bust in, cut your head off and use your torso as a toilet has been such an ongoing concern of ours, we've hardly slept a wink since realizing how realistic this song is. Such a brutal fate could happen anywhere. Fuck, this neighbourhood could be anywhere...

How long did you work on your 4th album? Are you satisfied with it?
Are there any differences to your other releases?

Soiled Depends: We worked on the new album for 10 months from beginning to finish. Overall we are very satisfied with it. I think a couple of the differences are that the songs are better written than usual and all of the players wanted to hear all the same thing. Brutal, evil music for serious head banging and relentless poser stomping. We’re beginning to hear that some critics think it still sounds like shit. Fuck man, we’re not millionaires, we can’t afford to make it sound like an Anal Cunt record.

Grimmgore: We were definitely all on the same wavelength when it came to writing this album, it was understood what direction we were going to take right as soon as we started shuffling our feet back on that shit laden floor… we wanted to write songs that we ourselves wouldn’t be tired/bored of playing/listening to after running through them a few times. For the most part I think we were able to get what we wanted out of the music… shit I heard Hasslehoff is all about it!!!

What about the vinyl version? Any special songs, different layout?
Who will release it? Why do you want a LP version?

Soiled Depends: I don't think the vinyl version will be much different, no new songs, no techno re-mixes. From what I understand it's a co-release by War on Music Records from Winnipeg and Rescued from Life Records out of Texas. Vinyl is so much more interesting than CD. I find that vinyl can sound better than CD and anyways, there is more to look at. Vinyl is the true format of metal.

With that album you are back on NO ESCAPE. The last one came on POWER IT UP? How was the collaboration with Tom and how are you on NO ESCAPE again?

Soiled Depends: It was a partnership of convenience with Tom and I am happy that he was able to help release "Fatal White Pustules..." for us in time for a European tour. In general, I think that Tom is much too busy to focus on all the things he has happening and I have always thought that No Escape felt like a good place for us. They were the folks who were stoked on our music from day one. Dave is a chain smoker anyhow so morally, our band and No Escape are obviously rather Christ-like when you think about it.

There is one song with a remarkable title "Ukulele Players Drugged Out Machete Attack at the Flea Market". You are a bunch of mind boggling freaks! What about that song? Who the hell came up with that?

Soiled Depends: We have realized that now that the US Economy lies in ruins that the emergence of the roadside Flea Market will now fuel the domestic economy south of the border. Disgusting used objects and scummy people and Saturday matinees full of violence, blood spilling and ghettoized former middle-class neighbourhoods. I got the inspiration for the song from a friend in Buffalo who routinely attends the Super Flea, a real fucking no-man’s land in the area. God bless the children of the Beast.

Are all your lyrics pure fantasy or is there some real background?
Why don't you use some serious themes, why are you such yahoos?

Soiled Depends: We have enough problems trying to make it in the world today. We find that it takes everything we got. Writing some lyrics to help our worries sure seems to help a lot.

The CD booklet is cool, especially the pic of your dead and rotting
cadavers. Who had the idea for that? Which war reporter did it?

Soiled Depends: Our paranoid camera friend Jon Schledewitz took the image for us. I have no idea what he was thinking but I would say it turned out nicely. It would have been nice if we were more hacked up and maybe in pieces there, rotting away in the sun but instead of buying a bunch of props, blood and creating various special effects, we purchased strong drink instead. Have you heard of Pech? It’s a lovely Italian liquor. It tastes like black liquorice, brutal hot sauce and a thousand ashtrays.

What keeps you by your raw Death grind sound? Never heard of modern, technical Metal-streamings? Are you not into it?

Soiled Depends: Every time we try to leave our cave to attempt to squeak out a marginalized existence in these difficult modern times, we are confronted with old friends who used to play brutal music that are now getting all caught up in playing popular Mall Metal bullshit. It’s embarrassing to see people lose their self-respect. Now you listen to me goddamn it: We play brutal death grind and that is it. We don’t care about modern music, we don’t care about playing with Job for a Cowboy and we don’t give a fuck about noodling for the sake of noodling. We like old garbage-rattling filth and scummy tunes, preferably with a message of hatred and hostility towards all underground fucking grindcore maniacs.

Grimmgore: I mean, yeah I think we’ve accidently flirted with the idea of this “technical metal” you speak of, though the last thing I personally remember is a fist thwarting towards my face then waking up half naked in emergency with a bottle of some pristine “crystal” in my right hand, a Cuban cigar in the left along with my dignity checked over at the triage desk!!!

Almost every year you finish a new album. Don’t you have real lives with women, dogs and a job from 9am to 5pm? Seriously, how can you work so fast?

Grimmgore: Work? We like to entertain the thought that fumes from just cat shit alone around our practice space provide enough fodder for our writing, really it’s already done for us. Seriously, have you heard of Pech? It’s a lovely Italian liquor. It tastes like black liquorice, brutal hot sauce and a thousand ashtrays. No, but seriously have you? (No, never! And with that name I´ll never drink it!)

Soiled Depends: Look, time is money. We gather in our basement that reeks of cat shit once a week to get away from the women, to bitch about our jobs and so our dogs can have a chance to chew on our slippers when we’re not around. Pech gives us the rocket fuel we need to floor it all the way to Kickstown. If it so happens that we get a record out of the deal then that’s what happens. Don’t burn the witch.

Tell me about your part to NASUM tribute! Don’t you think there
is enough tribute crap out there?

Soiled Depends: I learned that the singer had some fucking strange vocal patterns. Or maybe I only know two ways to sing. Either way it was a learning experience and when we finally go back to the studio and correct some problems with it in the studio someday, I will feel that we fucking NAILED it.

Until there is a tribute to Impulse Manslaughter one day, I will never feel that there is enough tribute crap out there. Is there a Morrissey tribute out there yet? I heard the Killers cover some of his stuff, it was pretty good.

What about the split 7” you have released this year?

Soiled Depends: Luckily for me the guy who put that split with I Die Screaming out likes to drink good Scotch and smoke cigarettes so naturally I feel that he was the right guy to release that record. Being that Alberta has no need for Transfer payments from those fucking fat cats in Ottawa, it seemed like a natural fit that we pair up with our pals in I Die Screaming for that platter. It turned out really nicely although it seems that a lot of copies have some kind of dusty residue from the vinyl colouring process? I’m not sure what’s up with that one way or the other. If you buy one, maybe instead of huffing your entire can of stereo duster, you could use some to actually clean the record.

When will you come back to Europe? What are your retrospections,
when you think about the last tour?

Soiled Depends: The European tour was fucking crazy. I booked the whole thing which was totally insane. We had no driver, the shows were good and by the end of it I wanted to shoot myself in the head from being too hung over. Plus our drummer, the Dark Lord Skullbong got into a brutal fist fight with a crack team of airport security guards in Toronto. It was beyond insane. It’s strange to play shows in parts of the world where our guitar player Colostomy Bag Darryl is considered the “hottie” of the band. It really caught us all off-guard. Still, playing with Afgrund and 2 Minute Dreka were moments in time that we can never ever forget. Oh, 2 Minute Dreka…Jesus Christ in a sidecar…oh man…

Last I heard we will be back in Europe for a slot at Obscene Extreme 2009. We all hope it happens. Europe is a great place to be as often as possible. Me and my old lady will spend our retirement years living in a moderately priced flat in Berlin.

Grimmgore: Europe definitely confirmed our functional alcoholism and other various addictions. I’m pretty sure I experienced withdrawal for the first few days up until Pardubice. Me and Skullbong were the only drivers as Colostomy Bag Darryl left Canada thinking we were going to come across a Volkswagen with an automatic transmission. I don’t know if that should be laughable or disappointing…

Soiled Depends: I don’t think it’s even remotely funny.

Grimmgore: Anyhow, there were many memorable moments and one that we should add is when playing Praha. We were finished our set with nothing else to play, a drunk Necromagnon was then able to keep the crowd entertained with his 10 minute long version of some songs done by Elvis… hands were all over him… it really could have been the second coming.

You are just back from tour with IMPALED and FUCK THE FACTS through Canada. Tell me something about. Hope you had a lot of fun!

Soiled Depends: We have never been all the way out to Victoria, BC on the West Coast before, so that was awesome. We are old friends with FTF and have played lots of shows with them. It was a natural fit to tag along with them and play all their amps on 11. And opening for Impaled every night was excellent. It was strange to play shows in parts of the world where our drummer the Dark Lord Skullbong was considered the “hottie” of the band. It caused many moments where bits of vomit would come up from our throats.

Grimmgore: May be that thought alone but I would like to think it’s due to that with the combination of drinking everyone under the table every night of the tour… though that’s not too difficult when Putrescence outweighs FTF and Impaled combined.

Why the hell you are belief PUTRESCENCE is a bunch of hillbillies?
Is your power set in your cellar running with pork-shit? Are you grown up in a barn?

Soiled Depends: We live in the fucking middle of nowhere. People here think that Green Jelly is the most hilarious band that ever existed. Cops here like the get shitfaced, drive wasted and kill civilians. Our Mayor couldn’t last in a boxing match past one round against a wet paper bag and the entire city stinks like a mixture of dead rotting cattle and scented lubricant. We can’t afford an NHL hockey team, our football team sucks and we are the arson, murder and child poverty capital of Canada. So take that, Gary, Indiana!


Soiled Depends: I have had the distinct pleasure of being in both bands. Other people from Swallowing Shit are now in Of Human Bondage and Propagandhi. We make due…

Lets do some more nonsense! Make your decision and explain it!

- Machete or chainsaw?

Soiled Depends: Machete. What fucking good will a chainsaw be in the coming Zombie apocalypse? Gassing up a chainsaw seems like extra work that will put you in harms way. Plus they’re noisy as hell so maybe movies about chainsaws are a good way to get into your old lady’s pants but in a real fucking zombie invasion, I think you are fucked without a machete for all those close encounters with reanimated corpses.

- Paillasse or Eiderdown?

Soiled Depends: Eiderdown for me. I’m not a big fan of sawdust quilts.


Soiled Depends: I think Wes Craven in his fucking half head actually had the nerve to endorse the remake of the Hills Have Eyes, so I will go with Deliverance. Fuck Wes Craven.

- Hillbillies or Emos?

Soiled Depends: Hillbillies all the way. Just watch 2000 Maniacs and tell me that Hillbillies don’t rule.

Ok, thanks a lot, last crap is yours!

Soiled Depends: Thanks a whole lot for the interview Jorg!! It was very nice. All the best with your fuckin’ web-morgue of evil! Stay sick…

Grimmgore: Nice!!!


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