Thursday, December 10, 2009


This is an interview with Ivan from CLITEATER. To introduce this band is a waste of time I think. Just enjoy it! And be ready for the new album"THE GREAT SOUTHERN CLITKILL" next year!

Hi Ivan, how are you. Give me an update about the band, anything important
happening in the near foretime?

Hi Jorg, thx for the interest in our band. Some important things what are going to happen are the re-releases of the “Clit e’m All” and “Eat Clit or Die” albums on Sevared Records in North America. In the meanwhile we write new tunes for the upcoming album and try to play some shows. At this moment I face some real health problems, so we had to cancel all activities in 2009 but hopefully they are gone soon so I can concentrate for 100% back on the band. More news later.

As you founded CLITEATER, have you ever believed how rapid it would grow?

Actually no. I just started as a joke and as time filler for Vedran and me. When Joost became a member, it all started as a serious band, especially when 2 labels wanted to release the first album and promoters asked us to play live. After Morris joined the band, it all went very fast and the critics told us that we were a one day fly but hey, we still running haha.

Under what premise was CLITEATER founded at that time. Had the world not enough brutal gory sexist bastards. What gave you the balls to come up with another grindband?

As I told I was bored and bought a drum computer to make songs for myself which I liked. Mortician was the biggest inspiration for me. It wasn’t, the idea that this would be grow as a real band, but it turned the other way haha when Vedran, Joost and later on Morris joined the project.

How serious do you take your self? In both ways, the music and the image.

As music very serious. I think you would be scared when you see us practicing and have discussions about a riff of lyric. About image I don’t know. Unfortunately most people say we are porngrind, but we aren’t porn grind. Those people just say what others say. For me personally is important that we have a positive image and I think we have them cause we treat everybody like promoters, fests, other bands and fans with lots of respect!

Puns with Metal classics (album titles and cover art)! What is behind it, respect or impiety?

It started in a bar. We are thinking about the first album title and after some beers I said, Clit e’m all and the others said, woow that’s an awesome name. For the second title (Eat Clit Or Die) someone send an e-mail with some new cd titles and one of them was this one. So we decided to use this also for future releases. It’s a total respect for all the bands we love all our lives, not to make fun of them. I really can’t imagine why some people think we just make this titles to make fun of our favorite bands.

To what extent are you influenced by the classics actually? It is not audible exactly.

Those bands where the first bands we started listening to when we were young and via this way we wanna send a tribute to them, what made us who we are now.

How have you got your little faithful butcher? Is he something like a running gag a like Hemorrhages pathologist?

Haha. Luisma from Haemorrage is the designer of “Andrej Nicolai” and he’s becoming our mascot. For the “cock and love” video we found a guy who was looking like Andrej Nicolai, but he didn’t had the balls to play in the video haha. Iron Maiden has Eddy, we have Andrej Nicolai.

You have gambled a lot on shows in the past. Soon you will share the stage with ROMPEPROP for a European tour. Becomes it not too much sometimes? I believe that it is always fun or can you enjoy it every time?

Yes sometimes it becomes to much, because we can’t live from the music so we all have to work at least 40 hours a week to pay the bills at home. We rehearsing 2 times a week and for 2010 all my vacation days I have are spend again on gigs and studio so the first holiday I will have is maybe in 2011. For 4 years I didn’t had a holiday cause all my energy and spare time is going into the band and sometimes it’s to much but most of the times is a cool thing to do. On tour with Rompeprop means drinking beer,beer,beer,beer, no sleep and eating hamburgers haha.

What do you think is actually the reason for CLITEATER popularity?

I don’t know but we feel blessed!

Could you explain why the chicks go crazy during your shows? Throwing their slips on the stage as in a Take That concert and shit like that. Are they all silly or just horny?

3 or 4 years ago we did some gigs when panties where thrown on stage, but for the last 3 years we never had a panty experience on stage. Maybe the horny girls are grow up now, have children and a husband who did not like it when they trow panties to CLITEATER on stage haha. Even some send us panties by post and asked to make a picture of it and put it on our website haha.

Similar shit with the girls in your clip "cock and love"; how do you enticed the girls to go up to the camera? Sometimes I have to doubt of my image of women!

We just send a bulletin trough myspace and after a day we could choose between 8 beautiful girls. Six of them became the lucky ones and they all did a great job in our video! Respect!

How obnoxious do you feel your lyrics are to yourself? Have you ever got in trouble with it? Or will CLITEATER not be apprehended outside the scene?

The lyrics are just fixation and we believe our listeners can see the different between real and non real things. The lyrics are stories behind a news topic and deal with real things in life, but then in an extreme coat. Some lyrics have some political loading and some are autobiographical. We never had problems with the lyrics, but our band name was sometimes a big problem. Mostly in English talking countries, cause a good distribution was not possible cause the fear of suing shit blahblah, or once we got an angry phone call from a Homo organization, who where thinking we are homophobes cause our cd was called “Eat Clit Or Die” and have a name like CLITEATER. And off course when you have an interview for work, if they ask, what’s your hobby and you say that you play in a band called Cliteater, you can say goodbye to your future job hahaha.

Are you sometimes afraid to stagnate musically? Or work the songwriting like Dutch soccer and round, hard and failed (just kidding)
You have balls to make those jokes!! I,m a big fussball lover (Schalke 04, sorry for those who don’t but I visit many times games in Gelsenkirchen, cause it’s only a 25 minute drive and your football league is much better then the Dutch)!!!) and those things can hurt a Dutchman hahaha, but no worries, next WM fussball we gonna kick ass and win the final ;) No we are not afraid of stagnation because we try to beat this problem to experiment with lots of creativity and only take the songs who sounded the best!

Why did Morris leave the band? Did he get famous with HYMEN HOLOCAUST now? Or have you over fault him?

Morris left the band because he could not combine it anymore with his private life. He runs a big company, works 70 hours a week, has to raise 3 children and playing often live was to hard for him. He did an amazing job for 7 years and we still have contact with him, off course he’s our friend and for him was also a hard decision to make.

And what about Susan? Maybe she wasn't recognized in what a band she plays? Or is she too busy with GOD DETHRONED and all the other bands?

In first place we asked her only for the summer festival gigs, but she wanted to stay cause her own band was quit and we where satisfied with her. After a year she started MURDER SSYNDICATE and wanted to leave us, because she could put all her time in the new band. A few months later she joined forces with GOD DETHRONED and she’s still playing in it and I still have good contact with her.

You release your music is sometimes here and sometimes there. Are you erratic in this regard? What do you expect from WAR ANTHEM now? Has your show at PARTY SAN 07 kicked off the door to them? By the way, how does it feel to play in front of so many people?

The first release was on Dismemberment / Bleedin Hemmoroid Recs. They only printed 250 copies and they were sold in one week. They could not finance a new pressing and the distribution was zero. Restrain Recs picked it up and re-released the first cd and released also the 2nd cd. Because of circumstances Restrain was not able to put more energy in the band and told us to leave because he thought the band deserves a better and bigger label. Morbid signed us, but financially they broke just before our release of Scream Bloody Clit, and War Anthem picked it up and released the Scream Bloody Clit cd. We have good contact with the guys and the coorperation between is very good!! It’s a growing company with great releases and we are very proud to be one of them! WAR also is going to release the new full length cd and the gig on PSOA was for sure a kick of the door for them! This gig was really amazing and one of my favorites I ever done!!

Can you explain why in THE NETHERLANDS there are so many Grindbands? I mean, it is only a small grass verge that is looking for cover behind the seawall.

I don’t know, maybe cause is so small lots of people come in contact with grind and metal people? And we are not only a small piece of grass verge before a seawall haha, we have an beautiful country, with lots of cultures, history and nice beers and food. Feel free to visit and drink some beers with us!

Can you handle the stereotypes? What's your opinion about this: The only reason that THE NETHERLANDS are not under water today, is, you are all not at home at the same time. Because you are caravan - terrorists of the streets in Europe!

Off course I can handle stereotypes and this one is a funny one. Last summer I made a short trip to Switzerland and I saw many Dutchies driving with caravans and I was thinking, what the fuck is going on here haha. But I hate the stereotype that every foreigner things every Dutchy smokes weed or bring it to other countries. Last trip German police took me 3 times from the autobahn cause of drug controls cause I was Dutch.

So many thx for the interview Jorg. For those who wanna join is, feel free to look at our myspace at

Stay loyal to the clits and see you on tour!

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