Wednesday, December 15, 2010


No need to introduce Silvester and FONDLECORPSE! Only one thing, I have never revived such an extra- long interview! Fuck! This is compulsive reading for every Old school death and grind maniac! Go creepers go!

Hi Sly, what´s the news after your tour early 2010?

Hey man, we played some more gigs and then I took some time off to deal with some pressing matters and was mainly locked in my room for some major reading, binging on movies and re-invent things, scheming and plotting. And it helps get a new perspective on things and fuel the fire to return refreshed to the table with a vengeance and start working on material even more crazy up and hopefully even better than the last and keep moving upwards and onwards improving ourselves. Oh there are things afoot!!! And most likely a ton of strange evil little demonic creatures are part of the grand scheme of things.

Have you enjoyed the tour or do you turn the fun of touring into stress and real work sometimes?

It definitely was a good time, always nice to go somewhere and see new places and sights, meet up with fellow mutants like ourselves and hang out. Definitely was a good time. Stress and workwise I would have to say normally not too stressed, last time I was on edge and stressed out because of shit going on at home, that was a bit of a shame. And workwise, well music should never be work because then you should quit right? haha. Only work is fitting a ton of crap in the damn van and not going crazy on long distance drives in the van hahaha. I am still jealous of the guys in Katatonie who had a mobile metal HQ home for the occasion, fucking best idea ever.

What experiences did you take home?

As always meeting a lot of cool people but sadly never enough time to hang out properly, the generosity of people and hospitality, seeing a lot of bands I have wanted to see for a while now, and visiting Germany again after years and walking around the cities checking out the sights but again never enough time to do that properly, kinda was run, take picture, next haha. But always good times. And cheers to everybody we met and hung out with! You all rule!

Is the band your baby or is it actually a democracy?

A band should always be a democracy I think, everybody has his specialty that is what makes it work. You can’t do shit unless everybody backs you up as a tight unit. In the band everybody is a cog in the total machine and everybody is important to create a cool end result. I tend to be looked at the most since I run the communication to the outside world. But everybody in the band is equally important.

Can you remember where it all has began and where will it end?

The animation of Fondlecorpse was around 95/96 I drew a picture and wrote next to it Fondlecorpse. I figured, hey, this would be a rad name for a band that plays music for the dead. But took a while for me to get it running and played in several other bands at the time that were garagebands that just played shows mostly. I went out and excavated several band members but they never held up long, necromancer spells failed, some fell apart on stage from decay and old age, demon possession went awry and band members left and ran away screaming like banshees straight out of hell. We will call it “line-up changes.” The one in 1999 was the worst when the whole band almost got hunted down and shot in the head -- people calling my band members zombies for some reason. So what? They ate people and chewed on you once in a while, it happens, right? But in 2001, a new line-up was formed an unholy alliance between some evil souls. That has kept going till this day. The drummer was an extraterrestrial, his species are called ‘critters,’ he played drums and the others are undead ghoulish fiendish creatures that play guitar and bass. Krite the drummer had to go underground and hide from some bounty hunters but we have a new demonically possessed corpse to play drums on the new album. Things went better after meeting up with Herbert West who infused the current line-up with his serum and been going strong ever since, chucking out releases every now and then. I don’t think it will ever stop as long as my corpse keeps staggering forward, some people play music for a few years and get out, some of us are in this shit for life I am in the last category. As long as I live this shit will keep on going till I fall apart and I’m collected by the Tall Man. It is NEVER..................OVER!

With what you have had earned the title “couchpotatoe”, are you lazy?

Basically the term couchpotato is how I would name our lifestyle, it isn’t actually about being lazy but about coming home after a long day of work, getting back from where ever and in your house, grabbing a beer, popping in a movie or grabbing a book and taking time for yourself and escape the dreary everyday life and escape for moment in your own world. You deal with enough shit everyday, and the band is the embodiment of escapism. And it is about stuff we know and like, and takes our minds of crap. Couchpotato was a joke first but it stuck and many people started using it so I guess it became a sort of badge of honor for us eventually.

How serious do you run for the band, is it like watching porn and playing video games?

Even though we have fun with the subject matter and have a laugh with Fondlecorpse here and there as I think everybody should, I mean if music isn’t fun why do it. The actual making of releases we take very serious and the creation of our music and releases. We work on new songs for a long time and keep tweaking them till we think their ready and we discard anything even remotely feeling like filler material. We take a lot of time and work with the best people we can get and go to studios we know can do quality and make sure we release something that is the best it can be. The same goes for all the artwork and such, we spend a lot of time making sure a release is a whole package that fits together and everything has been thought about. We always try and give the fans something worth owning and we hope we do not disappoint people. So as far as our releases and music I would have to say we are dead serious. On a Fondlecorpse release, thought went in each and every last detail. And each release has a fuckload of hidden things in them and nods to things that are important to us. Each release is like a piece of ourselves.

Tell me something about the “Creature Gore” vinyl – version. It seems vinyl has its comeback, that´s cool I think!

We always dug the idea of doing shit on vinyl, I always liked the idea of having the art displayed much bigger since for me that is always an important part of a release also. And the Creaturegore art by Adam Geyer was made for LP really. And actually most our material is available on vinyl, except the MCD for now but even that might change. Our first two demo’s were on 7” ep´s also before it was thrown on cd. The idea to also unleash the album on LP was always there but we didn’t pursue it at first. Actually we only announced our interest in a blog somewhere a few times. First we heard nothing and then suddenly multiple interested parties popped up. Funny how that work. But we chose to go with Cannibal Impalement records for the simple reason that they ended their email with “Couch potato warriors unite!” and felt right. We are a fan based band and to work with fellow minded fiends who “get it” is always a sure way to have some fun and release something quality. And I have to say Dan, Wren and Tim have been awesome to us and are awesome to work with and went above and beyond the call of duty to unleash something special. This release was fucked with by pressing plants and shit causing a lot of delays but they stuck with it and got it done. Nothing but props for them. And the end result is awesome I think and shows how much care and love went into it. Their awesome guys and I am honored to call them friends. I never imagined really we would one day have our own LP but here it is. So to all the naysayers CHOKE ON IT haha.

And well I don’t think vinyl ever went away, especially the real underground death metal and grind bands always stayed true to the format slinging out tons of 7” ep´s and LP’s even when big labels called vinyl DEAD and OVER. I guess it is because the underground people made music from the heart and loved the format even when it didn’t make them money or a profit and wanted something special and quality while the “moneymakers” saw it as expensive and not profit worthy. Funny how those all jump back on the bandwagon these days and release everything they got on LP now and rip you off pricewise for it. Some things never change.

You cover art are collages mostly, but the song on your releases as well, if you know what I mean. Am I right?

As for the cover art, for some reason the last two cd´s have been covers with an insane amount of shit happening in them and being a collage of a million crazy things we love. But they pretty much grew to become that, it wasn’t really planned. A lot of things we do with the band just happen really kinda like it has a life of it’s own and grows. I guess the releases and art are a trip trough a deranged mind and are an accumulation of a million things. Which makes the albums very personal also. Like I said before, everything has a purpose, to the littlest detail. I am not sure really when the collage thing started though, usually it was just a simple idea that spun out of control, Especially with the Creaturegore art we started with a simple idea and was supposed to be a simple basic cover but started adding things and me and Adam kept up thinking up more references and it just snowballed to the awesome madness that that cover became haha. That whole cover is amazing and a feat by itself by the master Adam Geyer. If you look at it every day you can still spot new shit all the time! I would say like the music the art has many layers and you can keep on peeling haha. When you see or hear a Fondlecorpse album you always know it is Fondlecorpse, there are not many people as messed up in the head as us like that haha. I guess watching so much horror and cheese does rot your brain. The albums are my brain scrambled and shaken and then poured out into lyric / concept form. I have tried to bring structure in the past but, things just become what they become out of their own. It has a life of it’s own and I don’t know what it is going to be until it is finished myself. There is a twisted form of logic to everything though. Also when I get a song I never know what the song will be, riffs and intro’s always decide what the song will be about. I don’t decide what a song will be but the song chooses what it will be if that makes sense. Ill hear something that reminds me of a movie or idea and then once that happens the song picked it’s topic.

Do you still design some cover art for Razorback bands? Do you free hand with it or do you get strict templates?

I help out on things here and there, and did some art for people and releases. Basically if a band needs help I usually help out if I have the time. Some bands need me to just put something together while other ones need me to design the whole thing from beginning till end. But especially on Razorback I´ve had my hand in the creation and put together of a lot of releases in the past. I always ask the band what they want and try to give form to what they want. So I wouldn’t call it strict. It’s as easy going or strict as the band wants it to be. I just help them give for to what they want their release to look like. I am doing it for them not for me I am just the peon who helps out. I´ve done tons of stuff for lots of bands and labels. If someone needs a hand with something and I have the time I do it.

You still walk on the red line of old school Grindcore without a step aside. Why do you hang onto it like on a mothers tits?

Well I don’t hang on to that tit, but other tits are very welcome, nothing beats having your face squished between nice natural floppy boobies, what was the question again? Oh yeah. Well for me growing up, the scene was small, underground and you had to work to be a part of it. Snailmail with fellow fiends, buy zines to know what is up and trade tapes, trade flyers and buy demos. You had to work to be part of it. To me that was always a healthy way to be. You couldn’t be lazy, and to be part of it you had to be involved and everybody had a band a zine or distro going. It made things more like a tight knit unit and in those days everybody wearing a metalshirt on the street you would immediately feel a connection. In a way it felt more real. You put effort in and you got something back. These days I feel like people have gotten lazy, you don’t have to do nothing anymore really and like fastfood whatever you wanna get you can just go online without effort stuff your face with whatever you want. I guess I stay true to the old ways because to me that feels more natural and more logical and music wise I play today what I played when I first started in the 90’s I pretty much always stay the same, maybe some slight changes but I never was one to hop on trends musicwise, I have always been in the state of mind that you either like it what I do or you don’t, I am too old to change. And I hope I never forget to respect each and everybody along for the ride and stay down to earth, and that it is about friendship and fun and everything else is just empty and will fade in time.

What about your love for 80th horror stories? Why is it so delightful for you?

Well born in 70’s, grew up in the 80s and those were great times, awesome cartoons, awesome movies that are still classics today and to me the hayday of insane monster movies. It is no big secret I am nuts about monsters and mutants and sorts and the 80’s brought forth some of the craziest shit. Growing up in the 80’s you were confronted with monsters and creatures daily, be it toys, cartoons movies, advertising, ah great times indeed. So a lot of it is nostalgia but also I still think those days were the haydays of great monster movies and hayday of many grand directors and special FX masters. If you make a list of movies that are utterly awesome and classics I am pretty sure most will come from around the 80s start 90s, be it sci-fi, monster movies and of course HORROR in general!!! I mean just google what was happening in the 80s and you get tons of awesome shit.

Have the kind of stories to many stereotypes to take them serious?

Well isn’t that part of the fun, the clichés and stereotypes make horror what it is, and directors playing around with them. You got the famous rule of thumb of Blood, Boobs and Beast haha the ingredients that are needed to make a low budget movie. I don’t take life seriously so I definitely don’t want to watch serious shit movie wise most of the time unless it is documentaries. If I want serious horror I will just watch the news and be revulsed by what humanity has done now. Nah fuck it for my movies I watch to relax I want the cheese! I want the stereotypes and the fun and the cheap scares and thrills and creepy atmospheres. Sure a lot of creatures or killers are ridiculous, but they are cool and it is fun to see them cause havoc and carnage. I don’t bother asking myself is this realistic I rather strap myself into the rollercoaster cart and let it take me wherever it takes me, Why mess up a cool ride with the question if it can happen or is realistic. I am sure if you made movies realistic you would get VERY boring movies. After all if all the victims escape then you wont get any cool kills right? For instance the whole torture genre bored me to death. You see a person on a chair being realistically tortured, FX making it look real, and then what? no story, no fun, no use. I watch movies to be entertained. Besides I also have an interest in true crime and human behavior and truth is stranger than fiction. I read a lot of books on the subject and watch documentaries. But as far as movies go. They should just be a fun ride like a kid going into a haunted house, Sure you know it is all fake but I’ll be damned if you didn’t love the ride!

Are you not afraid that you must be finished with writing lyrics about that? I mean, you have gutted out all almost known horror flicks on earth

Nah not nearly finished I haven’t even begun yet, I am a horror / b-movie fiend. With all the genres and subgenres alone I can write lyrics about movies till the day I die and not even come close to having covered them all. The genre is immense and next to that you have hundreds of subgenres. That and I also have a lot of other influences, a lack of ideas and song material is not something I have to worry about anytime soon. Just now I just have to look at my wall in front of me and I see my over 1000 horror movies that is a potential 1000 songs right there. Then I have books and comics, the potential inspiration is endless. I would say I am not running out of material, I would say I have just started to scratch the surface, there is still a lot left. The trick is to keep finding a new angle to tell a story, to avoid repeating yourself, that I will admit is tricky. But topic wise and movie wise.... I still discover new awesome movies daily, I think if I write songs till the day I die I will still not have run out of movies to write about.

Are there other things that influence your lyrics?

I have always been inspired by tons of stuff but pretty much everything is rooted in horror, monsters, creatures and mutants really, but it is movies, horror, gore and all its subgenres, sick and old horror comics, books, documentaries, true-crime stuff, history, art history and medieval times stuff and art like woodcuts and such, 80’s nostalgia crap, and a good dose of misanthropy because people are stupid.

Today all so called 70th / 80th classics get their remakes, because less of ideas and they are a safe source of income? What do you think about the continual wave of horror film remakes?

I think it should fuck off, this whole trend is devoid of quality and originality and we are now in a place where a remake done 2 years ago gets remade again so your having remakes of remakes oh wait no now they call them re-imaginings. Fuck that shit. If they were good it wouldn’t even be much of an issue but pretty much all the ones I see are so mindnumbingly BAD and boring, they destroy icons that once were cool, they strip the shit that actually made it fun from the movies and your left with a gigantic celluloid turd. Remakes aren’t the issue, you had some killer ones in the 70/80s. I mean The Thing, The Blob, The Fly. But these days it is all Hollywood crap mostly that is fueled by a quick buck, marketed to brainless kids. You know what? Movies might have been silly in the 70/80s but at least they were amusing, this new shit bores me to tears more often than not. The new movies forget things like a good story, or setting up a good atmosphere or building up a proper character and usually rely on a one or two gross out scenes done well but the rest is mediocre boring stuff at best. The problem is that it is just crappy and doesn’t amuse me.

Let´s take a view of some of that flicks and tell me your honest opinion!

Well I have for the longest time and still do really, refuse to support any shitty remakes and they will not receive one penny from me. If everybody would quit going to the shitty movies, then they wouldn’t get made anymore and we force them to find something new to do and hopefully original and get off their lazy asses and create some new icons. The sad thing is that some movies have some interesting new FX and ideas, but they then waste them on a shitty remake that falls flat on it’s face while it could have been part of a good original movie. Some of these I caught on TV. Mostly though. I wish I hadn’t. But for this interview I submitted myself to all the movies here, borrowing them or seeing them on TV so I can make a honest opinion of them. I won’t hate things beforehand and will give them a chance and then we will see what happens. Let the experiment begin! Will I retain my sanity after submitting myself to all these horrors! Let’s find out.

- NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD 3 D (2006), for me that new version was horrible!

I did not see this and even for this experiment I could not get myself to watch it (even if I could find it). I do not wish to spoil that classic that is so important to me. I will take your word for it that it was shit. I wasn’t able to even track this down to watch, nobody owns it. And never saw it on TV. Like it doesn’t even exist. Probably a good thing.

- DAWN OF THE DEAD (2004) zombies can run, huuu, what the hell…but cool!

This was sold as a remake of the brilliant Romero original and also one of my favorite zombie movies ever, so I already was annoyed that they touched a movie that pretty much was unbeatable. First thing that annoyed me is the fact that they ran.... to me zombies are to be dreaded because they shuffle in big groups and never sleep. They might be slow but they will shuffle after you till they get you, a feeling of impending doom, you have to sleep, they don’t, you need shelter, they don’t. Seeing them run made me annoyed. Some people will say, well why care? I don’t mind the running, but I mind the remake pretty much taking a shit on the original. If you want to do another movie then call it something else and don’t touch the original and the title. I would have had less problems if it was called something else and someone tried it’s hand at something new and original. 28 days later had running “infected” people, I was fine with that. The guy had a cool idea, his own world, his own rules. That is what should happen. Did the movie have a few highlights, well I thought the signs on the roof was cool, using the signs to talk to other people trapped in another building across the street. Inventive and cool idea. But overall..... obsolete and should never have been called Dawn of the Dead. If you sell it like a remake then I judge it accordingly.

- FRIDAY THE 13. (2009) Jason can run, ridiculous, but the victims are the same dumbasses like ever!

I have to say, it is almost impossible to fuck up a character like Jason, put a sack or hockeymask on his head and have him kill people in cool ways and have him stroll around menacingly, there is nowhere you can run and then the trademark tss tsssss ah ah sounds when he goes in for the kill. But they fucking did it, they managed to break Jason. I can tell you a lot but I didn’t feel even one minute that I was watching a Friday the 13th movie. It might resemble it and pretend to be it but..... totally disappointed with it. What a turd, keeping prisoners? living under the ground? running, playing hide and seek. WTF the first kill he hacks a kid in the throat and it is just a cut? A MERE CUT? he should have lobbed that head clean off. They pretty much neutered Jason and turned him into some weak loser that runs around crying. I am sorry but fuck that movie. Even the worst sequel was more amusing than this fucking turd of a movie. And I actually WANTED to like this one mind you. I really wanted to like this, but it is shit to me, it doesn’t deserve to be called Friday the 13th, sorry.

- NIGHTMARE ON ELMSTREET (2010), pretty scary I think.

I just finished watching this..... and they broke another character in my opinion, I was pretty bored, they ripped out the witty funny stuff, they ripped out the stalking, inventive ways to kill people with their fears, and now the movie is about a pervert, you sleep he kills you right away.....boring. This series was Robert Englund, he IS Freddy to me. Nobody else can play Freddy I think. I mean Englund made it what it is. And Freddy Krueger to me is like a trademark, his scared face, his trademark wit, trademark way how he looks for peoples fears and weaknesses and uses them against them and oneliners about every fucking minute. It looks to me that they ripped out everything that made Freddy, Freddy, all the things that made it fun and special and your now left with a pervert burnt to a crisp killing people, I am sure they wanted to go for realistic, but honestly..... BORING. The special character is gone, Freddy is now a dude with a head like a burnt match, realistic yes, did I want that? no. And the actor wasn’t bad, he is a cool guy does nice shit. But Freddy he aint, only Englund is real! This killer now to me can be interchanged with any burnt to a crisp person, while the original Freddy you will recognize in a second.

- PROM NIGHT (2008), disappointing remake of a boring original!

Prom night the original wasn’t rocket science but even and looks like an achievement in cinematic history compared to this turd..... is it even a horror? does it even qualify as a thriller? Does anything horrific even happen in this damn thing? Total obsolete movie that wouldn’t even scare a 2 year old. What a gigantic turd...... holy shit......... if I would have bought this I would have gone back to the store and slapped around the storemanager for allowing this crap to be sold in the store in the first place. I give this zero points. How did this remake ever get greenlighted to begin with!

- MY BLOODY VALENTINE (2009), in 3 D it becomes not better!

It delivered tits and ass and the gore, kept to the story mostly, and maybe if you haven’t seen the original some might dig it. Was there any reason to remake this though? nope not really. The original had a better story, a better atmosphere I think and better kills if you watch the uncut one especially, that adds some killer extra gore to it. It had more charm to me. This remake was doable with a bucket of popcorn but unnecessary remake really. But at least it didn’t mess shit up like other ones. I’ll stick with the original version yet again that was much creepier and more enjoyable to me.

- HALLOWEEN (2007), Rob Zombie has punch! But I don’t like his sequel from 2009!

I am biased since I love Halloween so much, my gripes are in the original where Meyers is a child that is pure evil, a seemingly innocent kid that embodies total darkness and adds to the mystery and creep factor, but gets turned into this remake into a fat crybaby..... great, instead of being an embodiment of evil we now get a crying fat kid that gets teased and has a dirty mask fetish to compensate, that grows up to become an emo killer...... FUCK OFF, again this trying to add realism and motivation. How about NO. Totally destroyed the whole coolness of the character and turned him into a wimp. For me Halloween is and will be the first two original movies. I always watch those back to back. The later sequels I admit weren’t that great either or even shitty and especially those without Donald Pleasance. For me Halloween was as much about Loomis as it was about Meyers, it was about Donald Pleasance as Dr Loomis who was a magnificent adversary who tried to stop evil at all costs and he played an awesome roll as semi deranged hunter of Meyers because only he knows the darkness that dwells within. For me there can be no new Halloweens without him. For me personally Halloween was Meyers Versus Pleasance and the first two movies I think played out wonderfully. Some people will argue it was gory, I will say I don’t give a shit. For me there is nothing but the original two movies.

- TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE (2003), Sherriff Hoyt is an awesome guy!

I have to agree that Sheriff Hoyt was a cool character and that actor always brings the rule, but as a remake I think it was redundant and I watch the original at least once a year and it honestly didn’t need an overhaul at all. And I think the original is still a lot more creepy than this remake. The remake might have a nice detailed gory scene here and there, most people will remember the chick that shoots her brains out and you can look through her head and such, nice effect, nasty, interesting. But otherwise I still find it redundant as a remake..... it can’t touch the original I think. The original had a way better atmosphere and was a lot more gritty and nasty overall. This is a typical example how they could have made something cool and original with the cool scenes and the Sheriff Hoyt character, but as part of the TCM remake no thanks, out of place and pisses me off in that context.

- CRAZIES (2010), this has blown me away!

Crazies the original is a cool cult flick, Romero doing his thing so what would this bring? But I was intrigued by this remake, and was surprised. The story was nice (maybe because Romero was attached himself for this as co-writer and producer) and characters that worked for me. I found this one to be a cool ride, and nice story. Infected town, army comes to purge that shit and people trying to escape the clutches of the government cover up. They did a good job showing a massive containment attempt. Nice feeling of dread. And I am a sucker for these kind of stories. Not bad.......not bad at all.

- THE FOG (2005), to much computerized and too little real horror atmosphere!

I love the original, a Carpenter classic, awesome story and cool atmosphere, but the remake.......holy fuck! what were they thinking!!!!! from the digital shitty effects (if you can even call them that) to the shitty changes in the story making it ridiculous. There was nothing scary or menacing about the whole damn thing. Obsolete turd that should never have been made. It had no redeeming value and wasted my time. What a fucking shitty movie!!! What was the use of this? Really? What was this supposed to be? Only use this movie has is the dvd disc that can be used as a coaster or frisbee.

- LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT (2009), the new one is almost as nasty as the original!

I couldn’t find this one, so I had to watch the trailer, can’t base much on a trailer but from what I saw the original had some true sleaze going on and you felt a bit menaced and sleazy for watching, but this remake these “bad” people wouldn’t even scare my 90 year old grandma..... I am not convinced they found someone as sleazy and nasty as David Hess or can capture the sleaze and nihilistic mood of the first one. But I haven’t seen the whole thing so I can’t say for sure.

- THE HILLS HAVE EYES (2006), I love fucking freaks!

I had heard mixed reviews from my friends on this one, so I went in wondering what it would be. The end result is for me that it had some alright things and it had some lesser things. The freaks were done excellent, how they looked. The one freak in the antique wheelchair with droopy melon head was excellent and looked properly nasty, amazing FX. And one of the main guys looked like a brother of Sloth from the Goonies haha, which was a plus also. The story was mostly like the original. My gripes with this one was though that a lot of the sleaze was cut, the helping freak in the original was a grown woman and here a child? Strange. The cannibalistic theme was lessened and more vaguely hinted at, while in the original they pretty much have it in the open and talking about how to eat the baby and shit and the crazy rants from their leader while talking to the burnt corpse of the dad was missing making the new movie less brutal to me. In this remake that was all gone and it seemed to me they toned down a lot of shit. I am undecided on this one. But the original definitely had more of a sleaze and filth vibe going on. But this remake did keep my attention and was doable.

If you would have to reanimated an old flick, which would it be and how would you do it?

That is a hard one, I think if I could spend some money I would give Coscarelli a big budget and have him finally make the ultimate Phantasm movie with no budget limits...... that would be awesome! One can dream.

Last spot is yours my creepy friend!

Thank you very much for this cool in depth interview it was awesome to do, hope you dig the end result. And anybody interested in some brutal Creaturegore drop by or dig around for us on Facebook and join the horror worshipping ranks of Fondlecorpse!

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